Enviro-Rant deux

Enviro Rant II

The Recycle Nazi is back! Yep, I'm still judgmental and inflexible. But so are you, cheez whiz – have you stopped eating meat yet?!?! I didn't think so.

- Use less Toilet Paper. Yes, I know – horror of horrors. Try to use one square less, I'm sure you can "spare a square," to quote Seinfeld! And buy recycled, sustainable source paper products for your house, or consider jettisoning paper altogether. We always use cloth napkins, for example.

- No more bottled water!!! I know, it's anathema to the health crowd, but the fact is that recycling those trillions of plastic bottles, when it even happens, it inefficient. A lot of energy and materials are lost in the conversion. Also, did you ever consider the amount of energy it takes to ship that water from Fiji, brainiac?!?

- "There's too many people on the bus from the airport
Too many holes in the crust of the earth
The planet groans
Every time it registers another birth" - Paul Simon, 'Born at the Right Time'

OK, there are far too many people in the world, around 6.5 billion at last count. The vast majority of the world's problems boil down to one issue, and that is over-population. Carl Sagan writes very persuasively on this, tying it to feminism – the more women are educated, the less children and sexual diseases they have; it's a direct correlation. Anyways, when the environment collapses and the coastal regions flood, we will have a global refugee population numbering in the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS. More and more people are fighting over limited resources, and it's always the animals and natural biosphere that miss out.

So, I have one word for you – CONDOMS. That's right, condoms are much cheaper than an abortion and inordinately cheaper than kids. You may think the real problem in overpopulation comes from Africa or India, but think how many people you know that have more than 2 kids. You spend 100,000$ for in-vitro fertilization that takes years and is hell on the woman's body – try adoption!!! I have four adopted cousins and they are all winners; for medical and political reasons, my husband and I will be adopting. Why add to the problem when you can subtract from it? There are just too many people in the world. No one needs more than 1 or 2 kids, it's just selfish, greedy and excessive in this day and age.

- Think outside the box! Here is a perfect example. I eat in Asian restaurants all the time, and you might too – so think about all the disposable chopsticks that get wasted every day. I carry my own, heavy-duty pair around with me. My friend Todd brought them back to me from Thailand and they come in a gorgeous coconut-fiber case.

- The Porcelain throne. OK, this is not classy at all, but it's a small price to pay. Ever heard the phrase "if it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down"? Flushing wastes a tremendous amount of water (I HATE those fucking automatic flushes that rip the second you move) so why not save flushing for when you need it?

- Cameron Diaz is a fucking genius! OK, stay with me here. White reflects heat and dark absorbs it, so the more we heat the earth, the more the ice caps melt, and the less white surface there is to reflect solar radiation, which speeds global warming. This is a horrid and negative feedback loop. I read an interview with her (I think) where she just suggested everyone in the world paint their roof white. Genius! It could work, and a grant from a large organization, like the Gates Foundation, could do it.

- To the moon, Alice. This gives me the absolute shudders. Reputable scientists, like Stephen Hawking, are exploring the real possibility of colonizing another planet or moon (including our own). This is even a worse idea then starting a land war in Asia. I call it DPS -- Disposable Planet Syndrome. What ever happened to "you break it, you buy it"? Haven't we fucked up this planet enough?

More to report later in June, I am going to several environmental panels at my 10-year college reunion at Oberlin....

Gaia Earth Day rant I

from Monday, April 23, 2007

Earth Day may have been yesterday, but we need EARTH DAY EVERY DAY! So, for my first blog entry (drum roll……)

GAIA. Earth Day Rant part I

I will leave aside the basics like conserve energy, carpool, and insulate your homes. This is my little manifesto. It may seem judgmental and I certainly have room for improvement in my own life. But things are getting desperate! I have not cited all my sources as this is not an academic paper. However, I welcome fact-checking or lively debate.

OK, many of you may know I'm vegetarian, and have been for 13+ years. I will preface this by saying I do eat dairy and seafood, which makes me a MAJOR hypocrite. That being said, I avoid wearing leather, I strictly avoid chicken stock (which sadly is in everything), I campaign for animal rights. Ethical implications aside, TO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT YOU MUST STOP EATING MEAT. Stop it right now, put that chicken wing, sausage or spare rib down. It's cruel and you don't need it.

First, you may know the rainforests (Brazil, SE Asia) are being mowed down at a frightening pace. One and one-half acres of rainforest are lost every second. And why are they being clear cut (this cut and burn technology dumps a MASSIVE amount of CO2 into the atmosphere, by the way. You know, that global warming thing)? For cattle grazing! Cattle, who fart immense amounts of greenhouse-gas methane into the air. The cattle in your hamburger. Now, greenhouse gases emitted in the burning of trees (trees which could scrub the air of CO2!) and the farts of cows are only the beginning. I won't bore you with the amount of gas – no pun intended – it takes to transport the slaughtered cattle from Argentina to Your Town. For each 1 pound of meat, it takes 15 pounds of grain (and a commensurate amount of water). Do the math backwards; for the exact same amount of resources, I can get 15 lbs. of grain, or 1 lb. of meat. I don't know about you, but to me it's SHAMEFUL to waste that much in food when 2 billion people don't have enough food or water.

Which brings me to WATER. Shut the damn faucet off when you brush your teeth. Take a shorter shower, or take one less often. Showers waste less water than baths. Share a shower with your honey. Only about one percent of the earth's water is fresh water available for our use.

In so many damn ways, environmental consciousness supports social justice. For example, Fair trade products such as coffee are often grown in more environmentally sustainable ways. Drink only "shade grown coffee." Organic is also better for farm workers who are not doused in poisonous chemicals all day.

Over-fishing has grossly depleted certain species of sea-food (or sea-life, as Linda McCartney used to say). You can find out which species of fish and seafood are more sustainable at www.eartheasy.com/eat_sustainable_seafoods.htm That being said, it's really best to halt seafood consumption across the board as the entire global fishery is on the brink of collapse!

REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE. This is my personal mantra. I say it all the time, just ask my husband who calls me "the Recycle Nazi" (No trash for you!) Yes, that's me riffling through your garbage and picking shit off the ground to recycle. I've done it before and I'll do it again. I do it because people are small, selfish and mind-numbingly thoughtless.

I bring cloth bags to the market for shopping; when I do use plastic or paper, I ask the clerks not to double-bag and to pack everything in tightly. When you do this, they will stare dumbly at you with bewilderment on their faces. Just insist. In Europe, you are charged money for every single plastic bag with which the store provides you. You can recycle plastic bags at Wegman's, you can re-use them when you shop.

Don't buy Tupperware, but recycle plastic take-out containers.

Trees – Plant 'em. A buttload. Arbor Day is coming… give someone the gift of a tree for an Honorarium or Memorial, a birthday, wedding, or graduation.

Flowers – many of the cut flowers we buy in our markets are not sustainable. Organic, locally grown and seasonable are always better. For one, it takes less energy to transport the flowers.

Cell Phones I – They pose their own environmental challenges. Their toxic chemical content requires us to use care in disposing of old ones. And there is a material, columbite-tantalite, used in mobile phone manufacturing that only comes from Zaire (DRC). This can only be hand-mined from the gorilla's habitat and causes wars in the area. Sadly, there is little we can do about this now. We can properly recycle our old cell phones – in fact, you should donate them: wirelessrecycling.com/home/index.html
www.grcrecycling.com/ www.charitablerecycling.com/CR/home.asp (you can also find ways to recycle things like printer cartridges at these sites).

Cell Phones II – You may have heard lately in the news that the global BEE population is plummeting. This is due in large part to the proliferation of cellular phones. Scientists claim radiation from handsets are to blame for mysterious 'colony collapse' of bees. Guess who pollinates our plants? The bees. Guess who cannot figure how to hand-pollinate on a mass scale? Humans. Guess who dies when the bees die? ANYTHING THAT EATS PLANTS.


Here's the part where I out myself as a kook:

- Reuse gift wrapping supplies – paper, ribbons, bows, gift bags, etc. I send ecards instead of paper cards. No, it ain't classy, but neither is mass environmental destruction, coastal flooding, refugees in the 100's of millions, global wars, and animal extinction.

- I wear almost exclusively vintage clothing and jewelry. Better to recycle older resources.

- I buy enviro-friendly stocks. Find out which businesses are enviro-friendly and patronize them. Punish those fascists who contribute to, rather than try to solve, the problem. Hint – it ain't Starbucks (Whorefucks).

- if you drive an SUV, YOU ARE A SELFISH FUCK. I don't care if it makes you and your family feel safer, because it makes my family much less safe. See the SELFISH FUCK comment above. I am not impressed that your SUV gets 30 miles to the gallon – you should be getting over 60 miles a gallon! They're called small hybrid cards.

Thanks for tuning in… more to come…